


Make It Three

by Pline



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Athena Grant Being a Mom, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor, Insecure Evan "Buck" Buckley, Light Angst, M/M, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25265257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pline/pseuds/Pline
Summary: It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.Oh no. Ohno.Buck just hung up the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.Oh no..OrBuck slips up and tells Athena he loves her. He has a bit of a freak out.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 118
Kudos: 771





	Make It Three

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was born from a discussion with my friend Jess, [@gay-in-221b](https://gay-in-221b.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, I wanted to post before leaving and so I have not read this over yet.

Sometimes, Buck finds it hard to focus.

One thing that he has noticed over the years is that he needs to be doing something else when he is on the phone or whatever is being said to him will _not_ be processed.

So that’s why when Athena calls him that night, he decides on tidying his place up as they talk.

A barbecue is being held at the Grant-Nash household to celebrate Bobby’s birthday, and Buck has been tasked with picking up the cake at the bakery – a task that he takes very seriously.

He has the bakery information on his phone and on two different pieces of paper just to make sure he doesn’t lose the address and has to ask Athena again.

“Thanks again for doing this, Buckaroo,” she is saying. “I would have gone to get it myself but you know how my shift has been changed.”

“It’s really no worries, Athena.”

As he says it, he notices that he is going to need to buy milk and he makes a mental note of it.

“You’re a life-savior. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah,” he replies, checking if he has any flour left – he wants to make pancakes for Christopher next time he comes over. “See you tomorrow, Athena. Love you.”

And he hangs up.

Oh, he is going to need toothpaste too.

* * *

It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.

Oh no. Oh _no._

Buck just hung up the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.

_Oh no._

* * *

Maddie, heartless, laughs her ass off when he tells her.

He first freaked out at his place on his own, and then he came to the conclusion he had to freak out to someone else.

Running to his sister might have not been the right solution.

“Please,” it comes out more as a whine that he would have ever liked it to. “This is serious.”

But Maddie must not think the situation as dire as he does because she keeps on laughing. Tears fall freely from her cheeks and her laughs soon turn silent as no air goes to her lungs, but her shoulders never cease shaking and she clutches at her sides in fake agony.

Buck crosses his arms. He barely resists the pout that would form at his lips.

“Did you call her ‘mom’?’ she asks when she finally catches her breath. “Oh my God, Evan, _please_ , tell me you called her ‘mom’.”

“No! No I did _not_ call her ‘mom’.”

Well, at least he doesn’t think he did. He isn’t a hundred percent sure actually, but he is not about to say that to his sister. She has already enough to tease him into the next century.

“I need to move away,” he blurts out. “Start a new life, get a new identity.”

Maddie’s eyes are still shining as she looks on him, doing nothing to hide her amusement.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic? You told her you loved her as you were hanging up the phone, it happens. People say it all the time. You’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be, she probably didn’t even pick it up.”

He blinks, outraged.

“Athena Grant?” he exclaims. “Not picking up on something? Are we talking about the same Athena Grant? You know, 5’4’’ but emotionally she’s seven feet tall? Can get you to confess anything with just one look? You know, that Athena Grant?”

Maddie opens her mouth but clicks it shut right away. For a moment, neither sibling say anything. Buck refuses to be the first one to talk, out of principle, but mainly because he is afraid he is going to put his foot in his mouth again.

Rationally, he can see that Maddie is right and that he is indeed being a bit dramatic.

So he told Athena he loved her before he hung up the phone. Big deal.

But –

But he has only ever said _I love you_ to two people in his life.

The first one was Maddie – a few times in their childhood, and twice as she left because twice she left him.

The only other person Buck has told it to is Christopher – he said it as they clung to each other on top of firetruck, the streets of Los Angeles filled with ocean waves.

“I still don’t see the issue,” Maddie says at last.

Her gaze is heavy with all the things they don’t talk about – like how they parents never told them they loved them, like neither Maddie nor Buck know for sure if they do love them in the first place, like how Buck is still craving the parental guidance their parents never gave him.

“I know you love her,” she continues, her voice softer, no trace of teasing left. “So why are you panicking? She loves you too.”

And that’s the heart of the problem.

Maybe Athena does love him too.

But Buck looks at her and sees a mother figure. He looks at Bobby and sees a father figure.

Every time they give him a hug, a kiss or even just a gentle pat on the back, Buck preens with it. His own parents are cold and absent, nothing like how Athena and Bobby are with their kids, how they can be with him.

So yes, he loves Athena, and it was only a matter of time until he blurted it out. The three words have been hanging at the tip of his lips, trying to escape and reveal his truth for far too long.

Buck is paralyzed by the fear that, to her, he is just a friend – a guy who works with her husband and who gets into trouble a lot.

With Bobby, it’s easier, if just a bit, though he still is never sure where he stands.

(Bobby never said anything after Buck told him he was one of the most important person in his life.)

And sure, he knows that she does care about him. She has shown him again and again that he is family and that she’s there for him.

Yet he still longs for more.

He wants to be chosen. He wants to be picked without hesitation and without reserve.

His parents never cared for him, why should he expect anyone to claim him as their kid?

* * *

“Maddie is right, you know.”

Buck hums but he doesn’t look up from where he is cleaning up the mess of glitter left behind in the wake of Christopher insisting on making a card for Bobby.

“Buck.”

“She’s right, yeah. I know.”

It’s not very convincing and even if he was a less perceptible man, Eddie would have picked up on his boyfriend’s tension.

Eddie walks up behind him and wraps his arms around him, resting his head on his shoulder. His hands reach out under Buck’s shirt and they rest there, only moving with the slightest of caress.

“Athena isn’t like your mother.”

Buck’s breath hitches – he tenses up. Eddie grips him tighter and he presses a kiss against his neck, and it’s enough to melt his nervousness away.

“She isn’t going to resent you for having said you loved her.”

Unable to speak, Buck grabs one of Eddie’s hand and brings it to his mouth, not really kissing it, just letting it close to his lips, hoping that it can say all that he can’t voice at the moment.

As always, Eddie understands him without him having to talk.

“I love you too,” he whispers.

Buck can only press himself deeper into Eddie’s embrace.

* * *

Too soon, it’s Saturday.

Despite his boyfriend’s reassurance, Buck barely gets any sleep at all. He turns and he turns all night, his mind filled with ideas of Athena telling him to stop insinuating himself into family times.

In the morning, he almost asks Eddie to get the cake for him instead, and to pretext not feeling well to avoid going to the party.

As if sensing his second guessing, Eddie shakes his head, a warm but firm look in his eyes.

“You’re going, Buck. It’ll to be alright.”

“Yeah, Buck,” Christopher pipes up. “We have to give Bobby our cards.”

And how could he ever refuse Christopher’s big pleading eyes anything?

“Of course, I’m going to,” he promises.

* * *

Stopping by the bakery and picking Athena’s order is a piece of cake.

At any other time, he would have chuckled at his own dumb pun and maybe would have even repeated it to someone – probably Chim who knows how to appreciate one.

Instead, he wallows the whole drive to the Grant-Nash residence, almost turning around a few times.

This is stupid. He is being stupid.

He can do this, it’s alright.

He will just pretend that nothing is amiss and hope that Athena is kind enough to not make fun of him for having said what he said on the phone.

His heart wouldn’t survive being teased for it, not when he can’t say if his love is welcome in the first place or not.

So he has a plan – it is simple but full proof.

If he isn’t faced with Athena, she won’t be able to say anything to him, right? So this is what he is going to do. Bobby’s party will be filled with people anyway, it will be easy to avoid one specific person.

Then, once the day is over, he will just have to avoid Athena for a little while until this all blows up and he will go back to acting like nothing ever happened.

There is no way this could fail.

* * *

When he gets to the house, the only other car in the driveway is the Wilsons’ – he can’t say if Athena is already back from her shift or not. Either way, he won’t even have Eddie’s support going into battle.

He squares his shoulders before going up to the house. He can do this.

To his relief, it’s not Athena who opens the door when he rings.

“Hey Buck,” Michael greets with his usual warm smile. “Come on in.”

Buck greets him back as he sets foot inside the house, his eyes scan the living room and the kitchen but there is not trace of Athena. Outside, he can see Bobby talking to Karen and Hen, he is wearing a party hat and the three of them are laughing.

“Where do you want me to put the cake?” Buck asks.

“There should be enough place in the fridge, that’s alright.”

Once done, he turns back to Michael, relaxing. Athena isn’t here yet, he has some more time where nothing has to change and he doesn’t have to hear her tell him that he is just one big weirdo trying to latch onto her and her family like he belongs there.

“Bobby told us you got the all good from your neurologist, I’m so happy for you. Congrats.”

The corners of Michael’s eyes crinkle as he smiles, “Thanks, Buck. I appreciate it. What about you? How are you?”

“I’m good, yeah. I’ve officially broken off my lease, there’s no turning back now. Eddie is stuck with me forever.”

Michael laughs.

“Something tells me he doesn’t mind.”

Before he can reply with anything, he hears Hen’s voice booming from the garden. “Buck, bring your butt over here, I need you to tell my wife how great I am.”

“Well, duty calls,” Buck jokes. “I gotta go and save the day again.”

He starts to turn around, flashing a grin at Karen who is waving at him before stopping in his tracks at the sound of Michael’s voice.

“By the way, Athena told me she wanted to talk to you.”

Oh no.

Buck gulps but he tries to placate a smile that he hopes will be enough to fool Michael.

“She did?”

“She asked me not to let you sneak away until she does.”

This is exactly what makes Buck want to sneak away and he would do just that, but he hears the door open and Harry and Christopher talking excitedly, which means Eddie who went to pick the Grant children from their grandmother's is here. And he won’t let Buck make a quick escape.

“Is everything alright?” Michael asks, frowning.

“Yeah,” Buck exclaims, voice a little too high to be passed off as normal. “Sure, I’m great, everything is just great.”

With that very convincing protest, Buck all but runs out to hide by Hen’s side.

This is going to be a very long day.

* * *

Athena does not get there until the party is in full swing.

With so many people around, it’s almost too easy to avoid her.

* * *

Their eyes meet and he sees her march towards him but he uses Christopher as his shield, feeling no guilt over it as he sends him to hug and greet her.

He knows she won’t be able to resist his big toothy smile and when she looks up, he is gone from her sight.

* * *

“Why are you hiding in my room?”

Buck gives Harry an innocent smile, “I’m not hiding.”

Harry, though sweet, is still his mother’s son, and he manages a very impressive stare for someone so young.

“If you’re hiding from Mom, you can’t. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“I’m not hiding.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t see you in here, don’t worry. You owe me the biggest ice cream cone.”

Is Buck’s life only to be bossed around by the Grants?

* * *

The face-off happens as Buck leaves the bathroom where he definitely wasn’t hiding in.

“There you are.”

Athena has her hands on her hips and a frown set between her eyes. She is standing in the way, blocking any exits.

“Buckaroo,” she says and he feels like he is being scolded. He probably is. “Have you been avoiding me?”

“No,” he protests a little too loudly. “Why would I even be avoiding you? That would be weird and things aren’t weird at all, everything is chill, I’m just chilling.”

There is a beat of silence after he finishes his rambling and he visibly cringes at his own awkwardness. Great, he thinks, this is absolutely humiliating.

“Right.” She pauses, Buck’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest. “This is about you telling me you love me.”

It’s not a question.

“No, it’s not. I mean, did I even tell you that? Not that I don’t like, care about you, right. But I don’t like think of you as a mother figure or anything, I mean that would be weird, so yeah, no you don’t have to worry. I mean, people say that all the time, I’m not trying to worm my way into the family table, I know I’m just a guy you know. You don’t have to say anything, maybe you could say nothing? That would be great.”

He is spiraling and making the biggest fool of himself. He needs to cut this fast.

“Oh, do you hear that? I think that’s Eddie calling me, I should probably go see what he wants, I will talk to you later. Yeah, great, bye.”

Buck tries to step a step around her.

Athena stops him.

She catches his arm and tugs on it until he stills. His gaze his fixed on the top of her head, not quite looking at her.

“Buck.”

“Yes?” His voice comes out small.

“Look at me.”

He does but only for the briefest of instants, and then he looks right up.

“Buck,” she repeats – gentle.

He forces his eyes down, afraid of what he will find.

Rejection, disgust – this is what he expects but that’s not what he finds. He finds compassion, affection and – _oh_. Love. He finds love.

“I love you too,” she says.

There is no doubt in her tone. She says it like it’s obvious. Perhaps it would have been if his anxiety hadn’t stood in the way.

“You do?”

“Of course, I do, Buckaroo.”

Something heavy frees itself from him, releasing the terrible hold it kept on his heart for so long.

Breathing shakily, he can only bring himself to smile, small and shy.

That makes it three.

He has said _I love you_ to three people in his life, and now three people has said it back to him.

Athena keeps close and the feel of her hand on his arm is grounding in a way he has never known. His mother has never hold him like that. In fact, he can’t even remember a time where she held him at all.

“That’s three,” he blurt out.

“What’s three?” Athena repeats, confused.

He keeps his eyes down, “Three people I’ve said those words to.”

Buck can’t bring himself to look up at her though he feels her gaze boring into him. This feels too raw to say out loud, he wants to take the words back and shove them back into his heart, bury them again under fake smiles and fake laughs. He would keep them hidden, only for himself to see, only for himself to know how broken he truly is.

“Maddie?” she asks softly and he nods. “Eddie?”

He shakes his head, “No. Christopher.”

She hums. He shuts his eyes closed but tears of shame fall from them anyway.

“Eddie would say it back, you know. So would anyone else in this house.”

It’s not quite a sob that he lets out, but it comes very close to it.

“Oh, Buckaroo, come here.”

Eyes still closed, blinded by his tears, he falls into her arms and she is there to catch him. He shudders, feeling a cold that’s only coming from within him, but the warmth of her arms manage to settle his chills.

“It’s alright,” she whispers gently. “You don’t have to say what you aren’t ready to say, but you have to know that everyone in here loves you just as much you love them.”

“Athena,” he breathes out, unsure what he could even say.

“You don’t have to earn your place at the family table, you’ve always had it. You aren’t alone, you hear me? You aren’t alone, and you are loved. You are so loved.”

And he finds that he believes her.

* * *

Released from his fear, he tries to say those words more.

Eddie is the first person he does. Athena was right, Eddie says them back.

* * *

One day, it will be easy to say them, and he will say it often to the people who deserve to hear them.

Until then, he says them here and there.

He says them to Maddie when she tells him she wants him to be her child’s godfather. He says them to Bobby after Buck gets landed in the hospital again and his captain refuses to leave his side until he wakes up. He says them to Hen when she passes her MCATs with flying colors. He says them to Chim when they laugh until they cry at a joke Chim has made.

He says them to Athena again when he hangs up the phone.

He says them to Eddie the most, and he says them almost just as often to Christopher.

Every time he does, he hears them said back to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I just have a lot of emotions about these two.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Find me on tumblr [@bilbobagglns](https://bilbobagglns.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment, please.


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